my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
