I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we're making bets on your personal life
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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