butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
