Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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