Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
