You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
