I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
