Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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