I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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