Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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