fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
