I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
