Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
