just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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