I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
