Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
