You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So many bounce houses so little time
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
