Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
