True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
