i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
