drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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