Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
