i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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