If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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