Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
