before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
