I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize