My room smells like vodka and shame
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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