chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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