I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
