i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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