I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
50% drunk capacity currently
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Randomize
