if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
