I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
love makes seman taste better
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize