I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
