Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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