mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
North Korea, Best Korea!
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
