I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i think im in europe. pls send help
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize