k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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