Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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