If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
