There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
