I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
