hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
