dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
two words...techno handjob
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize