at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
