Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
