I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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