Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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