its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
