Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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