it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
