nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
