People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
