Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
