I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
