when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
