Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
