in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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