When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My cat gives me a boner
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
