Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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