My balls are so social today.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
