CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
