Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
