When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize