The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
